Though I rarely finish a book and don't at least REALLY like it, there are few that I would categorize as "life changing". Within that short list are the Bible, The Shack, and, most recently, The Prodigal God by Timothy Keller.
I don't have a birthdate, per se, for becoming a Christian. As far back as I can remember I have attended church, prayed within my home, been taught right and wrong, and believed that Jesus Christ came to this earth and died to pay the price for my sins. What I've never grasped, until I read this book, was exactly how high that price really was and what that says about the God I serve that I've always claimed to know. Even more, I was given a glimpse into who I am at my most basic, human level. Pretty wild and scary stuff.
If you are at all familiar with the Bible, you are probably familiar with the story of the prodigal son. Selfishly arrogant son asks Father for his share of the inheritance, leaves home and squanders said inheritance, skulks home starving and broken only to be unexpectedly received back into the loving arms of dad who proceeds to throw a really happening fiesta to celebrate. A beautiful picture of how God wants to welcome home all of his wayward children, right? Yes, but there's more to this story than meets the eye, as pointed out by Mr. Keller. What is overlooked is that there are actually two brothers rebelling against the father here. The obvious one is the child who left home and lived against his father's wishes, squandering what he had been given. The less obvious rebellion is that of the elder brother. While he sticks close to home, obedient to his father's commands, fulfilling all the obligations he feels are expected of him, his heart is still rooted in a place of selfishness. He is living out of duty, looking after his reputation and living for what he can get from his father - namely, his inheritance.
The title of the book comes from the meaning of the word, prodigal: to spend recklessly, until you have nothing left. God gave ALL that he had to reconcile His fallen creation, man, back to himself. "His reckless grace is our greatest hope." And who exactly was that sacrifice made for? Not just the overtly sinful, rebellious "younger brothers" of this world, but also those of us "elder brothers" - Pharisees in Jesus' day. Today it would be, well, me, for example. Who has always gone around following all the "shoulds", doing what I imagined was the right thing, dutifully obedient to good moral laws, even those laid out in the Bible. All the while judging the younger brothers of this world who just weren't as good. My heart attitude (and that of many of us in the church today) is to assume that if we follow the path of moral conformity, we are following Christ. But, as Timothy Keller so aptly says, " [We] can rebel against God and be alienated from Him either by breaking His rules or by keeping all of them diligently." By doing the latter, we try to become our own Savior and Lord, effectively saying we don't need God's free grace. The rules are enough.
Here is where I was hit deepest: "Religion operates on the principle that 'I obey - therefore I am accepted by God.' The basic operating principle of the gospel is 'I am accepted by God through the work of Jesus Christ -therefore, I obey." God's gift of grace is, yes, free. But not for Him. For Him it cost everything. He came and "[experienced] the exile that we deserve ". I have been living a life of "shoulds" - doing all the things that I believe God expects of a "good Christian". But all the while my heart has been in the entirely wrong place. A Pharisaical place. Now I desire to live each day, each moment in the light of the grace and love that I never fully understood before. I deeply desire for God to grow within my awakened heart the passion to bring His true message - that of hope and grace, love and acceptance - to all those who cross my path and don't yet know it.
So what does that look like? According to Keller "Behavioral compliance to rules without heart change will be superficial and fleeting." You know how we in the Christian circles are always bemoaning the fact that we constantly backslide in our walk with the Lord? How we can't seem to hang onto lasting change? I believe this is at the root of it. We are not truly grasping this grace that bought our freedom. This is where I have always grown stuck: "You cannot change such things through mere willpower, through learning Biblical principles and trying to carry them out. We can only change permanently as we take the gospel more deeply into our understanding and into our hearts. We must feed on the gospel, as it were, digesting it and making it part of ourselves."
Martin Luther says that even after you are converted by the gospel your heart will go back to operating on other principles unless you deliberately, repeatedly set it to gospel-mode. That being, living a life that responds to God's love for me. Living out of thankfulness and not duty. Immersing myself in His word so that I know Him more fully and can respond authentically.
2 comments:
Drowning the old man- what a good reminder for me, as I wade around allowing him to bob and surface.
I really appreciate your thoughtful insight.
Steph
I finally devoured this book in the bookstore and thought it's interesting how the majority of my 'christian life' has been revolving around becoming the Pharisee (older bro) and expecting my inhereitance as i have relinquished my ability to become that reckless son who makes the whole family look bad. And of course, the parable isn't just for the reckless son, rather, it is for hte pharisee just as much. Neither of our hearts are in the right place and so our road to repentance may have equal amounts of barriers. I do have to say then, that it is God's favor that we ask of him to change our hearts continually-so that we can be trnasformed with the law that keeps us dead if it is only that. Gnite. roobs
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