I am so grateful for the people God brings into my life to share what wisdom they have been given with me. I get a bit emotional and the rational side of me shuts down sometimes. And so I am grateful, Lord, for perspective, and for your gentle yet convicting voice that speaks through others.
Regarding this whole church situation, I have been confronted with several thoughts . First, from my compassionate, selfless, wise husband who reminded me in a blunt yet effective way, as follows, that the church is a body. And in the body there are always unattractive yet purposeful parts. Take the armpit, for example. Never glorified in romance novels as a description of great beauty, that's for sure. Or, to put it lightly, the backside. Both of these parts are not glamorous and not body parts that people like to have noticed necessarily. But both serve important functions. So, ok, it's a little gross. But it's so true! In the church we have our hands and feet, our eyes and ears. But we also have our armpits and...ahem....that other aforementioned part. And ALL are important to the workings of the church. Even though I may not quite understand what positive purpose they serve, they do serve a purpose.

I also have been reminded that once we have claimed Christ's salvation we become family. We are brothers and sisters in Christ, under our Heavenly Father's leadership. In families we don't always get along with our siblings. We bicker and fight and compete for attention. We may even really just downright piss each other off. But in the end, your family is your family. You are together no matter what, through thick and thin. You don't just write each other off because you disagree or because one sibling does something to hurt you or another brother/sister. And when we make profession of faith (in my denomination, anyway) you are welcomed into the life of the church, "its joys and its sorrows. And I am convicted that to just turn and run or to hang on to bitterness or anger is completely counterproductive. It's not at all a sign of committment to seeing this situation through and faith that God will work through it.

My final conviction today came when I was browsing around on my Shining Jewel's pastor, Michael Hidalgo's blog (and I hope you're ok with me repeating this here). There is a blog entitled "Renovation" and it was like an arrow through the heart. Read it at michaelhidalgo.blogspot.com/2006/04/renovation.html Tearing down IS so easy to do. Destruction is so much more immediately satisying. And I feel SO justified in criticizing those "less spiritual". I feel that my words somehow are made right because I am so much more "righteous" in my intent. And all the while I am only contributing to the tear-down. A few phrases in particular from this blog that struck me:

"It is easy and even fun to mock what others have done, and are doing in an attempt to express their faith. Often times we feel good about ripping it apart because we claim that it is doing more harm than good......so we write about people, preach about people, and belittle people who are our brothers and sisters". (Lord, forgive me, this is SO me!)

"Anyone can tear down a wall, few can build one. Many can criticize, few can create."(can I just use this as my mantra now or what?)

Lord I need to be the change that I want to see in others. And while I walk around like a foreman pointing to all the areas of demolition that need to be addressed in the lives of others, I have failed to take notice of the "plank in my own eye" and the rotten crossbeams in my own spirit that need renovation. Do NOT allow me to contribute to irreparable damage in this already tenuous situation. As I pursue true peace, given to me as your gift, help me to daily make that choice to experience it myself, and to choose to pass it on in both word and deed.