Parenting is not for sissies

How many times have I heard this statement and chuckled? So true, so true, I always laugh to myself. Lately, though, it has really hit home with me. As my baby grows into a toddler and begins to exhibit facets of his very own God-given personality and human will, I realize that this child is not only an extension of myself, he is his own person! And with that comes desires, likes/dislikes, and sometimes just plain old strong-willed stubbornness as he strives to work through and communicate to us his personality. More than anything else right now I just desire to raise a child who is respectful, polite, and God-fearing. Is that so much to ask? Apparently. One battle we did tonight really turned on the light for me about how I've been failing my child in this area. Why is it as parents that we struggle so much with discipline? As a teacher, I encounter children daily who have obviously been allowed to rule the roost at home, and , quite frankly, they are not turning out to be the nicest of kiddos. Perhaps Mom and Dad indulged a little too frequently with wants and desires (not unheard of with the influential status of my school community). Maybe Mom and Dad experienced unreasonable rigidity as they grew up and vowed never to rule their offspring with an iron fist. Who knows the reason. What I do know is that giving anyone the unlimited desires of their heart does not an angel make. I also see kids who have no idea what it means to treat others (including authority) with any form of respect. Sometimes these same kids don't really have any idea what it means to respect themselves either. It breaks my heart because what kind of adults will they grow into? Where will they learn the lessons of perseverance, hard work, sacrifice, selfless love if not from the adults who influence their life and behaviors from their first breath? I can say that I've seen many adults who lack respect and follow-through, so it's safe to say that some behaviors, once learned, can't be lost. (Maybe can but won't). I have always been the type of person who stands in line at the grocery store and wants to come out of my skin when a parent battles with their children over the "gimmes". For a short time they do well with holding out and then eventually, when their child is screaming or whining shrilly to the level of breaking glass, they give in. I cringe! I inwardly protest! Don't do it! And yet, in past months, I have seen myself traveling down that path. Among my excuses are: He's too young to know better; he'll think I don't love him; he'll be hurt and angry with me. All of them excuses for WIMPS! Tonight it flashed clearly to me as my child and I went through a 45 minute battle of wills and I realized finally: where will this child learn respect if not from me (and my husband, of course). Who else will demand of him right behavior, which, if not delivered, will result in absolute consequences? Where will this child have modeled for him right from wrong? What environment will this child be immersed in where someone will love him too much to allow him to disrespect? Who else will care enough about his character to direct him onto the right path with a solid Moral Compass? When else in his life will he be as primed to begin learning the lessons and truths of Christian behavior than right now? My child's self-esteem is not at stake, his entire Christian character is. And that, by far, is more important to me.
And so I calmly battled with my child and expected nothing less than appropriate, respectful behavior. And he was pissed. But for once, I did not feel frazzled and ready to snap. I felt God's peace and his hand on my shoulder as he lovingly looked down on my child and foresaw some future circumstance in which my child would instinctively act out rightly because his mom (and dad) would expect nothing less, and His heavenly Father would not either.
How much more, then, does God demand right attitudes and behavior of us? What clearer guidelines could he have offered than His Word? As a loving parent should, he does not always give us the immediate desires of our heart. He sometimes lets us kick and scream and flail around until we painfully realize that His way is best, and He loves us too much to settle for anything less from us than total surrender.