Monday, November 17, 2008
Awesome
If you want to try to grasp the awesomeness of our Creator God, go to www.hubblesite.org and take a look at the picture gallery. Talk about blowing your mind...
Friday, November 07, 2008
Faith
My faith has been tested in recent months, not by anything earth shattering like life or death, but by nevertheless significant issues such as financial strain and pregnancy with an unexpected third child while my youngest is not yet a year. So I've been giving faith a lot of thought. A couple of months ago I was tackling these worries on my own, making myself physically and emotionally ill, laying awake nights (late, late nights), not being of any real benefit to my spouse, children, or probably others who know me. And then I had a middle-of-the-night experience where God entered the room with me and sat on that rumpled mess of a tossed and turned-through bed and poignantly confronted me with this thought: "You either trust me or you don't". I stand convicted. See, I had been picking and choosing where I could depend on God with my life. The things that were easy to let go of He could have, and the things that were huge and rocking my world I preferred to hold onto and nurse into a writhing mass of boiling worry. Immediately as I accepted this truth of the Lord's, I felt my hold on these things in my life loosen and give way. Because I do trust Him - I want and need to trust Him.
I see our faith journey hit three different stages:
We take our first step of faith, trusting God with our lives and giving them over to Him. Then accepting that "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Heb. 11:1 Doesn't that sum up the Christian faith? We are constantly battling the hopelessness and seen "sureties" of this world against our very real but unseen almighty God. And what is our ultimate hope? That God is on the throne - he is holy, loving, and in control.
As we work to live out this faith, it should permeate EVERY area of our lives - ALL circumstances. In my life the verse that best sums up this part of the journey is Philippians 4:6 - "Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." As one who has faith in the Lord, anxiety should not be part of my vocabulary. Rather, trusting Him through prayer and beyond that, giving thanks, should be my M.O. This is where the rubber meets the road - day in and day out, do I trust Him or do I succumb to my anxiety? Do I exalt him with thanksgiving or nurse my wounds?
Finally, I believe that through acting on this faith through thankful prayer, our eyes are opened to the fact that "God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline" (1 Tim. 1:7). That has become my mantra in stressful or anxious times, or times when I am losing my temper or unhappy with life's circumstances, etc. etc. God has NOT given me a spirit of fear/timidity but of POWER to combat the devil and this world's schemes, and of LOVE for those around me, and of SELF-DISCIPLINE to spiritually grow into the woman God desires for me.
So as those verses and steps of the journey have been unfolded for me, I thank God that He loves me enough to pull me up out of the quagmire of my own mind and plant me on the firmer ground of His word.
I see our faith journey hit three different stages:
We take our first step of faith, trusting God with our lives and giving them over to Him. Then accepting that "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Heb. 11:1 Doesn't that sum up the Christian faith? We are constantly battling the hopelessness and seen "sureties" of this world against our very real but unseen almighty God. And what is our ultimate hope? That God is on the throne - he is holy, loving, and in control.
As we work to live out this faith, it should permeate EVERY area of our lives - ALL circumstances. In my life the verse that best sums up this part of the journey is Philippians 4:6 - "Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." As one who has faith in the Lord, anxiety should not be part of my vocabulary. Rather, trusting Him through prayer and beyond that, giving thanks, should be my M.O. This is where the rubber meets the road - day in and day out, do I trust Him or do I succumb to my anxiety? Do I exalt him with thanksgiving or nurse my wounds?
Finally, I believe that through acting on this faith through thankful prayer, our eyes are opened to the fact that "God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline" (1 Tim. 1:7). That has become my mantra in stressful or anxious times, or times when I am losing my temper or unhappy with life's circumstances, etc. etc. God has NOT given me a spirit of fear/timidity but of POWER to combat the devil and this world's schemes, and of LOVE for those around me, and of SELF-DISCIPLINE to spiritually grow into the woman God desires for me.
So as those verses and steps of the journey have been unfolded for me, I thank God that He loves me enough to pull me up out of the quagmire of my own mind and plant me on the firmer ground of His word.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Stewardship
"Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things." - Matthew 25:23
The idea of stewardship has been on my heart and mind more than ever lately; it's something about which I've become increasingly convicted throughout the past several years. As it relates to money, our family will be transitioning back down to one income, so it's an obvious time to evaluate how faithful we are being. As far as our gifts and talents, we are experiencing a few months of rest from involvement in too many things, so it seems like a natural time, as well, to revisit what God has instilled in us to use. I also find with more time at my discretion now because of the end of my teaching duties, I need to think about what I'm doing with this time and how it's spent. In my mind, these are the three main areas that we are required to be faithful servants - they guide and direct every area of life.
I don't feel that many of my first 30 years of life here on earth have been faithfully spent in these areas. My heart is especially burdened with how I have chosen to use money in my life. Proverbs states that the borrower is servant to the lender (22:7) and increasingly God has convicted me of that fact. I am tired of debt hanging over my head with no end in sight. Student loans, cars, home, credit cards.....it's a burden, and I know God did not intend for our lives to be lived in this way. What gives me hope is that God has truly opened my eyes to His design for my life, and I know that when I faithfully commit to becoming a wise steward, He will provide the way out of this bondage.
I know that one day each of us will stand before the Lord to give an account of how we've spent our lives and the resources entrusted to us: time, energy, money/materials, gifts and talents. On that day, what do I want to say to him? Well, right now I seem to only come up with lame excuses for the ways in which I've failed, but what I WANT to be able to say to him, along with the faithful servants in Matthew 25 is: Master, loving Father, you entrusted to me material goods: a home, money, things well beyond my daily needs. See, I used them to heal your sick, feed and house your poor, hospitably entertain those you brought to me. I cared for and faithfully administered all gains you saw fit to put into my care. Master, you entrusted me with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, for ___________ years. See, I used this time to draw closer to you in order to better reflect your image and to act and speak in such a way that glory was brought to your name. Father, you entrusted to me gifts/talents/passion for service, music, prayer, and the written word. See, I have used them to the fullest, showing others your love in the process. I have lived a life of love and thanksgiving, prioritizing/spending/living wisely, always longing for your return and my homecoming.
And what do I long to hear the master say to me in return? Simply, "Well done, good and faithful servant..Come and share your master's happiness. "
For now, I close in peace, praising God for opening my eyes, and trusting Him to help me bear the burden of responsibility for what he has given into my care on this earth.
The idea of stewardship has been on my heart and mind more than ever lately; it's something about which I've become increasingly convicted throughout the past several years. As it relates to money, our family will be transitioning back down to one income, so it's an obvious time to evaluate how faithful we are being. As far as our gifts and talents, we are experiencing a few months of rest from involvement in too many things, so it seems like a natural time, as well, to revisit what God has instilled in us to use. I also find with more time at my discretion now because of the end of my teaching duties, I need to think about what I'm doing with this time and how it's spent. In my mind, these are the three main areas that we are required to be faithful servants - they guide and direct every area of life.
I don't feel that many of my first 30 years of life here on earth have been faithfully spent in these areas. My heart is especially burdened with how I have chosen to use money in my life. Proverbs states that the borrower is servant to the lender (22:7) and increasingly God has convicted me of that fact. I am tired of debt hanging over my head with no end in sight. Student loans, cars, home, credit cards.....it's a burden, and I know God did not intend for our lives to be lived in this way. What gives me hope is that God has truly opened my eyes to His design for my life, and I know that when I faithfully commit to becoming a wise steward, He will provide the way out of this bondage.
I know that one day each of us will stand before the Lord to give an account of how we've spent our lives and the resources entrusted to us: time, energy, money/materials, gifts and talents. On that day, what do I want to say to him? Well, right now I seem to only come up with lame excuses for the ways in which I've failed, but what I WANT to be able to say to him, along with the faithful servants in Matthew 25 is: Master, loving Father, you entrusted to me material goods: a home, money, things well beyond my daily needs. See, I used them to heal your sick, feed and house your poor, hospitably entertain those you brought to me. I cared for and faithfully administered all gains you saw fit to put into my care. Master, you entrusted me with 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year, for ___________ years. See, I used this time to draw closer to you in order to better reflect your image and to act and speak in such a way that glory was brought to your name. Father, you entrusted to me gifts/talents/passion for service, music, prayer, and the written word. See, I have used them to the fullest, showing others your love in the process. I have lived a life of love and thanksgiving, prioritizing/spending/living wisely, always longing for your return and my homecoming.
And what do I long to hear the master say to me in return? Simply, "Well done, good and faithful servant..Come and share your master's happiness. "
For now, I close in peace, praising God for opening my eyes, and trusting Him to help me bear the burden of responsibility for what he has given into my care on this earth.
Monday, June 02, 2008
Hunger
Oh God, I hunger & thirst for your righteousness, and you have said in your word that those who do so will be filled. I desire for your word to be living and active within me but am frustrated, then, by my inaction. I am so often only a hearer and not a doer of your word. Rather than be fed by the rich abundance of spiritual nourishment you have laid out for me, I limp along in life sustained only by my own table scraps.
Ah, Paul, you so mightily hit the proverbial nail on the head by saying, "I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18b).
Ah, Paul, you so mightily hit the proverbial nail on the head by saying, "I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out." (Romans 7:18b).
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Weakness
"'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.
There is nothing that makes you feel more weak than trying to "do it all". Week #2 has been completed of my return to being a full-time working mom times two. This is not to mention the wife/daughter/friend, etc. parts of my personality. Overall the transition has been a smooth one. We have successfully exited the house by 6:30 nearly every morning (in large part to my hubby's assistance - what a man) and the work load has felt mostly manageable (of course, now much of my spring break will surely be spent catching up on grading). But I have had to continually admit my weaknesses in these past weeks which is no easy task for a perfectionist. There is no way to do it all and do it all well. God didn't design us this way. But it's difficult for me to feel out of control of areas of my life. Which is why the 2 Corinthians verse is a refreshing way for me to view life. To take JOY in my personal weaknesses as well as the hardships that God allows because it's not about me anyway. It's about bringing the Lord His due glory, whether in smooth times or rough. Easier said than done. But I understand where Paul is coming from in these verses. It seems all too easy to give God a pat on the back for blessing us and move along our merry way when life is all rosy and smooth sailing. It is during the hardships and weak moments that we truly understand His grace and admit that we cannot do it alone. And the true joy comes from knowing that we are not alone in this walk through life. I feel like this is all very easy to say in the context of my life now, when personal hardships are minimal. But I hope, when the rubber meets the road, I will see that God has been shaping me to be "content in any and every situation" (Phil. 4:12) - doing everything through Him who gives me strength.
My favorite devotional is "Streams in the Desert". This excerpt from one of the daily meditations has stuck with me as I often feel that as Christians we feel it is up to us to DO, DO,DO:
" Straining and striving does not accomplish the work God gives us to do. Only God Himself, who works without stress and strain and who never overworks , can do the work He assigns to His children. When we restfully trust Him to do it, the work will be completed and done well. And the way to let Him do His work through us is to fully abide in Christ by faith that He fills us to overflowing. There is no straining effort in an overflowing life , and it is quietly irresistable."
I desire the quietly irresistable life that is filled to overflowing. A life that is filled with imperfections so that my gaze might be turned more fully to Christ and His power. And it begins day by day by embracing the hardships and weaknesses that God has allowed for His purposes.
There is nothing that makes you feel more weak than trying to "do it all". Week #2 has been completed of my return to being a full-time working mom times two. This is not to mention the wife/daughter/friend, etc. parts of my personality. Overall the transition has been a smooth one. We have successfully exited the house by 6:30 nearly every morning (in large part to my hubby's assistance - what a man) and the work load has felt mostly manageable (of course, now much of my spring break will surely be spent catching up on grading). But I have had to continually admit my weaknesses in these past weeks which is no easy task for a perfectionist. There is no way to do it all and do it all well. God didn't design us this way. But it's difficult for me to feel out of control of areas of my life. Which is why the 2 Corinthians verse is a refreshing way for me to view life. To take JOY in my personal weaknesses as well as the hardships that God allows because it's not about me anyway. It's about bringing the Lord His due glory, whether in smooth times or rough. Easier said than done. But I understand where Paul is coming from in these verses. It seems all too easy to give God a pat on the back for blessing us and move along our merry way when life is all rosy and smooth sailing. It is during the hardships and weak moments that we truly understand His grace and admit that we cannot do it alone. And the true joy comes from knowing that we are not alone in this walk through life. I feel like this is all very easy to say in the context of my life now, when personal hardships are minimal. But I hope, when the rubber meets the road, I will see that God has been shaping me to be "content in any and every situation" (Phil. 4:12) - doing everything through Him who gives me strength.
My favorite devotional is "Streams in the Desert". This excerpt from one of the daily meditations has stuck with me as I often feel that as Christians we feel it is up to us to DO, DO,DO:
" Straining and striving does not accomplish the work God gives us to do. Only God Himself, who works without stress and strain and who never overworks , can do the work He assigns to His children. When we restfully trust Him to do it, the work will be completed and done well. And the way to let Him do His work through us is to fully abide in Christ by faith that He fills us to overflowing. There is no straining effort in an overflowing life , and it is quietly irresistable."
I desire the quietly irresistable life that is filled to overflowing. A life that is filled with imperfections so that my gaze might be turned more fully to Christ and His power. And it begins day by day by embracing the hardships and weaknesses that God has allowed for His purposes.
Wednesday, February 06, 2008
The grass is always greener
Phew - welcome to 2008. Finally time to take a little breather and reflect. Because I have been on two wildly different ends of the "pace of life" spectrum this year, it's something that's been prominently on my heart. For the first several months of the 2007 - 08 school year our life was crazy, non-stop, out of control. I often would answer the "how are you" question with "hanging in there" rather than the expected, requisite answer of "fine", simply because it summed up so much better my mental state. In truth, a more accurate summary of my mental state was "hanging by one rapidly-fraying thread". School, of course, was the main culprit of my harried existence. Teaching, planning, grading, committees/meetings, dealing with issues of all mental/social/emotional states with my students, etc. sucked up a lot of mental and physical energy. Add to that church involvement, family, and being pregnant to top it all off and it made for a crazy ride.
Enter one baby on Dec. 10 to bring life to a screeching halt. Never mind that he was two weeks early, giving birth puts the brakes on any and all "normal" aspects of life.
Which brings me here, to being the stay-at-home mom (for another 6 weeks anyway). What an opposite experience! I now can focus most of my time and energy on my own family rather than other people's. There is such relief in that. It has been a welcome reprieve, albeit challenging in a different sense as I struggle to find the balance between myself as "me" and myself as "mom".
But what I continue to explore, even with life chugging along at a very different pace than the first 5 months of the school year, is why we as the human race submit to the busyness that this life and the culture seems to lay out as the norm. I have talked with countless colleagues and friends about life as we know it and the primary reaction I gauge is one of dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction with the sense that their life is a train running completely out of control; one which jumped the tracks of their expectations a long time back, and which they have no clue how to bring back under a reasonable rein. It's commonly held in our society that faster and quicker and more is better. But the reality seems to be that less is more. I have felt a drought in my soul from living this kind of life: one which never stops and where my brain must always be on to the next thing even when my body can't keep up. Who is benefiting from this lifestyle? Not my colleagues or students. They simply reap the affects of my shortened temper and mediocre work. Not my family. They get a sullen, exhausted wife and mother. Not my friends or extended family who often, I think, assume I've fallen off the face of the earth since I'm completely MIA. And not the Lord, who I claim to represent in all things. Who sees Christ when I'm ill-tempered, worn out, and frazzled? So I'm ready to say STOP.
To that end, I have decided to end my teaching career......again......for now. I am stretched too thin to fairly continue educating the children of western Chicago and 'burbs. I am also contemplating other "noble" obligations that maybe need to get kicked to the curb. I think that, all in all, I need to take this blessed time to revisit the mission that God may have prepared for me. To use this as a Sabbath space from activity and determine where my energies are best used, what passions I need to put into practice, what my mission is, if you will. So stay tuned for that......
Enter one baby on Dec. 10 to bring life to a screeching halt. Never mind that he was two weeks early, giving birth puts the brakes on any and all "normal" aspects of life.
Which brings me here, to being the stay-at-home mom (for another 6 weeks anyway). What an opposite experience! I now can focus most of my time and energy on my own family rather than other people's. There is such relief in that. It has been a welcome reprieve, albeit challenging in a different sense as I struggle to find the balance between myself as "me" and myself as "mom".
But what I continue to explore, even with life chugging along at a very different pace than the first 5 months of the school year, is why we as the human race submit to the busyness that this life and the culture seems to lay out as the norm. I have talked with countless colleagues and friends about life as we know it and the primary reaction I gauge is one of dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction with the sense that their life is a train running completely out of control; one which jumped the tracks of their expectations a long time back, and which they have no clue how to bring back under a reasonable rein. It's commonly held in our society that faster and quicker and more is better. But the reality seems to be that less is more. I have felt a drought in my soul from living this kind of life: one which never stops and where my brain must always be on to the next thing even when my body can't keep up. Who is benefiting from this lifestyle? Not my colleagues or students. They simply reap the affects of my shortened temper and mediocre work. Not my family. They get a sullen, exhausted wife and mother. Not my friends or extended family who often, I think, assume I've fallen off the face of the earth since I'm completely MIA. And not the Lord, who I claim to represent in all things. Who sees Christ when I'm ill-tempered, worn out, and frazzled? So I'm ready to say STOP.
To that end, I have decided to end my teaching career......again......for now. I am stretched too thin to fairly continue educating the children of western Chicago and 'burbs. I am also contemplating other "noble" obligations that maybe need to get kicked to the curb. I think that, all in all, I need to take this blessed time to revisit the mission that God may have prepared for me. To use this as a Sabbath space from activity and determine where my energies are best used, what passions I need to put into practice, what my mission is, if you will. So stay tuned for that......
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